Excuse my blog post title, it took me a long time to think that up, mainly because once again I was delaying starting this post… because I really shouldn’t have left that last post where I did. So I called Ethan. I did grapple with the idea for several hours, well I say hours, I mean minuets. Because I got myself into the the mindset of going back and forth. But then I realised it was going to happen anyway so I may as well just embrace my fate. That was not a good move. As you can see it’s been ages since my last post, and it’s been Hell since then. Plus I forgot about this again for a while. But everything is done now, all the dust has settled and I’m ready to offload everything.
Well… Okay this is harder to get into than I thought it would be. Okay. It started when I called him, of course. He answered on the third ring, and seemed to know it was me straight away. He answered like I was an old friend. We got to talking for a while and then he asked if I wanted to come out with him and some of his friends. At this point I was planning on sleeping with him, which I did end up doing, so I said yeah I would. There was nothing really special about this night out, apart from the fact that I pretended to be a lot camper than I actually am, because all Ethan’s friends are really camp. I know that pissed him off a little. So when we, inevitably, got back to him later that night, he got into an argument with me. The contents wasn’t really that important, but he basically said that I never show the true me to anyone. Which is pretty true really, so that scared me a little. But seeing as I was still wanted to seduce him I told him that he knows more of the real me than anyone. Which is kinda true, he’s scratched the surface before, but in comparison to what I really am, he’s nowhere near the truth. So I ended up fucking him, it was great, I got him out my system and because he’d just had an argument with me I didn’t feel like falling in love with him. But then shit got weird.
The next morning I awoke to find he wasn’t in, which was a little annoying because I always stay for breakfast. If I know the person it’s good to talk and catch up, and if I don’t it’s often good to get to know someone. I hate people that leave in the middle of the night. Any who, satisfied but pissed I left and went to one of my various homes. But then later in the day he turned up, at this home. It was my house, mortgage pending, we’ve just switched from renting to mortgaging, in the suburbs, with my fiancé. Me and Claire were, I dunno going about our day, and then he turned up. He was angry, it’s not even the word really. It was beyond belief. So at that point I knew my engagement was about to be broken off. But don’t get to upset there’s some good news still to come. Oh and I’m very good at breaking up with people, I do it a lot. Anyway… he turned up, basically called me a “deceitful callous bastard” who can never tell the smallest piece of truth, and blurted out that we’d had sex not twelve hours ago.
Now me and Ethan have history, as you are well aware of by now. And this is why he’s so mad at me really. He was the first guy I ever slept with, when we were sixteen, and that didn’t last long. But since then we’ve hooked up several times and have been in and out of relationships as well. We always break up when he finds out I’ve been having sex with, or am in a relationship with, someone else. And yet, this person, who clearly thinks I’m the love of his life and that I’m going to one day going to finally settle down with him, can still manipulate me. You think this is all angry on his part, but really he’s being very precise with what he’s doing. So he broke us up. That was rough. I mean I loved Claire. She’s a history lecturer and really very into it. But I was also bored. I mean I didn’t like how long we’d been together. In a way it made me feel uneasy cause I knew it would just make it harder and harder to let go. I guess that’s part of love. But I love in a twisted way.
But after that Ethan didn’t bother me again. I mean I’m mad at him for what he did, but now I’m just past it all. I guess I wouldn’t take any of it back, that’s probably the mantra to my life. Wouldn’t take anything back. But anyway the god news is that I got to keep the dog, a Husky called Gerard who I love loads, and now he’s living with me. So you win and you lose.
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