Impractical thoughts spring to mind when I think of… well anything. What should I do with my life? Become an astronaut of course. What should I read today? I’d really like to read that lost shakespeare play. What should I do to get this person of my back? Oh I should just drug them and sell them to mobsters to be used as slaves. See impractical, I don’t know how to knock anyone out.
But then I’m most impractical when it comes to love. You see I fall in love like most people fall into bed. Easily. And then once I’m there I never want to leave, even though I’m pretty sure I’ve gotta get back to life. Maybe beds a really a separate dimension from where the rest of the world just looks dulled. Or maybe its a government conspiracy, and are beds are full of drugs that are dispersed when we lie down. But I digress. Love, thats thing I’m talking to you about. I think. I don’t know this all seems so stupid. I love like a puppy. Always running to the newest person on scene. When I was little it almost worked exactly like I would if I were a puppy. You see I have this very big, and extremely close, family. And I was the miracle child. I’m the first and only son to Joyce and Kevin Atlas. And the first grandchild, and on top of that Joyce, I mean mum, thought she would never be able to conceive a child. So naturally they loved me a lot, as did the rest of my family. And when I was a baby they passed me around. And I was everyone’s favourite. And then when I was a little older everyone was my favourite. My grandparents gave me extra long hugs, and more chocolate than anyone else. My uncles told me secrets about my aunts, my aunts told me stories about my uncles. Eventually I was the leader of my cousins. The key of any social event. The golden child.
Okay I’ve got a bit side tracked. What I’m saying is I loved like a puppy. But then when I became a hormonal teenager, well there’s no other word for it, I became a slut. Now theres a special place for male sluts, and yes I’m very ashamed of some of the things I did to people. But I truly thought I used to love those people. They would be pretty, or cute, or sexy. Then if they displayed a bit of intelligence, a bit of whit, and hated, or pretended to hate, Ben Affleck, I’d sleep with them. Sometimes I’d date them, if it was required to get them into bed. I didn’t discriminate for race or gender. Hey there’s another things, I don’t hate Ben Affleck. I just love to hate him. And I’m not even sure why I hate him, apart from the fact that he butchered Daredevil. I guess I just need to balance all this love out.
So this continued, me being a slut, up and through university. But only then I actually started getting into serious relationships. Well they were always serious at the time. It was when I discovered a more long term type of love. An enduring love. A love that made a lot more sense. But then I would just slip back into old habits and sleep with the next person I rated worth it. I’m a very bad person really. I will always talk with someone after sex, I mean really try and talk to them. I find out people’s secret passions, their ambitions, their secrets. I once found out the boy I was sleeping with behind the girl I was sleeping with’s back that he was also sleeping with her. But thats a story for another blog post I think.
And now, well now I’m stuck in a big web, full of lovers and ex’s who I still see from time to time, and a couple of people who I’m at different stages of relationships with. I’m having affairs, I’m dating, I’m fucking him, her, and I’m going steady with others. Some people would say that I’m just a sex addict. In fact those who’ve scratched the surface of my facade. My balancing act. Have said that. I guess they’re right in calling me and addict. Because I am. But I’m addicted to love. Well I guess you could see that coming seeing as I kinda already said it at the start of this post. I honestly love almost everyone I come into contact with. I can’t ever let it go unsaid, or undemonstrated.
I guess it seems like I’m trying to confess my sins, but I’m really not. I just want to let people know how great I’m finding all of this. The more people I can love the more I enjoy my life. And I don’t ever want to stop.
